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A happy ending to a squirrelly tale

MIKEARGENTO
Thursday, November 18, 2004
 
When we last checked in with Nutkin, she was influencing the race for state Superior Court Justice.

It was November 2003, and Schuylkill County Judge Cyrus Palmer Dolbin was running for state Superior Court. Long story short, Dolbin lost, in part, because of Nutkin.

And now, Nutkin is making legal history in Pennsylvania.

She is the subject of a precedent-setting legal decision — well, sort of — from the state Superior Court. As such, Nutkin has cemented her reputation as the most influential squirrel in the history of jurisprudence and has earned celebrity that belies her humble beginnings as a rodent with the brain the size of an almond whose life, until it became the province of lawyers, had been dedicated to gathering nuts.

Nutkin, for her part, is handling her fame well. She got a call from Leno's people, but turned it down, said Jean Gosselin, one of Nutkin's keepers.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Nutkin's journey to becoming the most famous gray squirrel in America began in South Carolina, where, according to the Nov. 5 Superior Court opinion that granted her freedom, she "apparently had plenty of nuts to eat and trees to climb, and her male friends, while not particularly handsome, did have nice personalities. Life was good."

Nutkin fell out of a tree and was adopted by Jean and Barbara Gosselin, who lived in South Carolina at the time. The Gosselins moved to Pennsylvania — specifically to Orwigsburg, a town of about 3,100 in Schuylkill County — about 10 years ago and brought Nutkin with them.

In 2002, the Gosselins called the state Game Commission to complain about some illegal deer hunting near their property. A Game Commission officer spotted Nutkin in her enclosure and forgot all about the illicit dead deer. The officer offered to forget about citing them for keeping a squirrel — an apparent violation of state law — if the Gosselins gave up Nutkin.

They refused.

"Nutkin," wrote Judge Joseph Hudock, "would then learn the shocking truth that the cheery Pennsylvania slogan 'You've got a friend in Pennsylvania' did not apply to four-legged critters like Nutkin."

The Game Commission cited Jean for illegally possessing Nutkin. Then, the Game Commission withdrew that citation and filed charges against Barbara, prompting Barbara to speculate whether the state had conducted DNA testing on Nutkin to learn her true ancestry.

At this point, Nutkin was secreted away to an undisclosed location while the case wound its way through the courts. The Gosselins were found guilty by a district justice and ordered to pay a $100 fine and costs. They appealed the conviction to common pleas court, where Dolbin upheld the conviction and earned the enmity of squirrels and people who like squirrels. His delay in deciding the case, waiting until after the election for state Superior Court, has been cited in his failed attempt to get himself elected to the court that would ultimately decide Nutkin's fate.

The case wound up before the Superior Court. The court didn't exactly make new law or issue the squirrel version of Brown vs. The Board of Education. The court merely applied state law. While the state game code outlaws the possession of wild animals, it exempts beasts that were rendered captive in other states where such captivity is legal. In other words, since Nutkin was legal in South Carolina, she was legal in Pennsylvania.

Case dismissed.

Nutkin was free to return home.

* * *

Since then, Nutkin has achieved fame. Fox News called. National Public Radio did a report. The case was the subject of an article in the November issue of the American Bar Association Journal, apparently to the dismay of the Gosselins' attorney, Dirk Berger, who will forever be known as the squirrel lawyer. A British magazine writer headquartered in California called. Nutkin has her own Web site.

And then, Monday, Leno's people called.

They offered to fly the Gosselins and Nutkin to Los Angeles to appear on the show. They declined.

"It'd probably traumatize Nutkin," said Jean, a 73-year-old retired pilot. "She's not one of those animals from the San Diego Zoo that climbs on Leno's head. She'd probably freak out."

It wasn't about fame. It was about justice.

For a squirrel.

"I'm glad we fought it," Jean said, mentioning that it was an expensive fight. "Of course, I'm glad because we won."

Barbara, 67, said, "We're on top of the world."

Nutkin, meanwhile, has been mum. Maybe she's holding out for Letterman. Mike Argento, whose column appears Mondays and Thursdays in Living and Sundays in Viewpoints, can be reached at 771-2046 or at mike@ydr.com.Read more Argento columns at ydr.com/mike.

 
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