When we last checked in with Nutkin, she
was influencing the race for state
Superior Court Justice.
It was November 2003, and Schuylkill
County Judge Cyrus Palmer Dolbin was
running for state Superior Court. Long
story short, Dolbin lost, in part,
because of Nutkin.
And now, Nutkin is making legal
history in Pennsylvania.
She is the subject of a
precedent-setting legal decision — well,
sort of — from the state Superior Court.
As such, Nutkin has cemented her
reputation as the most influential
squirrel in the history of jurisprudence
and has earned celebrity that belies her
humble beginnings as a rodent with the
brain the size of an almond whose life,
until it became the province of lawyers,
had been dedicated to gathering nuts.
Nutkin, for her part, is handling her
fame well. She got a call from Leno's
people, but turned it down, said Jean
Gosselin, one of Nutkin's keepers.
But we're getting ahead of ourselves.
Nutkin's journey to becoming the most
famous gray squirrel in America began in
South Carolina, where, according to the
Nov. 5 Superior Court opinion that
granted her freedom, she "apparently had
plenty of nuts to eat and trees to
climb, and her male friends, while not
particularly handsome, did have nice
personalities. Life was good."
Nutkin fell out of a tree and was
adopted by Jean and Barbara Gosselin,
who lived in South Carolina at the time.
The Gosselins moved to Pennsylvania —
specifically to Orwigsburg, a town of
about 3,100 in Schuylkill County — about
10 years ago and brought Nutkin with
them.
In 2002, the Gosselins called the
state Game Commission to complain about
some illegal deer hunting near their
property. A Game Commission officer
spotted Nutkin in her enclosure and
forgot all about the illicit dead deer.
The officer offered to forget about
citing them for keeping a squirrel — an
apparent violation of state law — if the
Gosselins gave up Nutkin.
They refused.
"Nutkin," wrote Judge Joseph Hudock,
"would then learn the shocking truth
that the cheery Pennsylvania slogan
'You've got a friend in Pennsylvania'
did not apply to four-legged critters
like Nutkin."
The Game Commission cited Jean for
illegally possessing Nutkin. Then, the
Game Commission withdrew that citation
and filed charges against Barbara,
prompting Barbara to speculate whether
the state had conducted DNA testing on
Nutkin to learn her true ancestry.
At this point, Nutkin was secreted
away to an undisclosed location while
the case wound its way through the
courts. The Gosselins were found guilty
by a district justice and ordered to pay
a $100 fine and costs. They appealed the
conviction to common pleas court, where
Dolbin upheld the conviction and earned
the enmity of squirrels and people who
like squirrels. His delay in deciding
the case, waiting until after the
election for state Superior Court, has
been cited in his failed attempt to get
himself elected to the court that would
ultimately decide Nutkin's fate.
The case wound up before the Superior
Court. The court didn't exactly make new
law or issue the squirrel version of
Brown vs. The Board of Education. The
court merely applied state law. While
the state game code outlaws the
possession of wild animals, it exempts
beasts that were rendered captive in
other states where such captivity is
legal. In other words, since Nutkin was
legal in South Carolina, she was legal
in Pennsylvania.
Case dismissed.
Nutkin was free to return home.
* * *
Since then, Nutkin has achieved fame.
Fox News called. National Public Radio
did a report. The case was the subject
of an article in the November issue of
the American Bar Association Journal,
apparently to the dismay of the
Gosselins' attorney, Dirk Berger, who
will forever be known as the squirrel
lawyer. A British magazine writer
headquartered in California called.
Nutkin has her own Web site.
And then, Monday, Leno's people
called.
They offered to fly the Gosselins and
Nutkin to Los Angeles to appear on the
show. They declined.
"It'd probably traumatize Nutkin,"
said Jean, a 73-year-old retired pilot.
"She's not one of those animals from the
San Diego Zoo that climbs on Leno's
head. She'd probably freak out."
It wasn't about fame. It was about
justice.
For a squirrel.
"I'm glad we fought it," Jean said,
mentioning that it was an expensive
fight. "Of course, I'm glad because we
won."
Barbara, 67, said, "We're on top of
the world."
Nutkin, meanwhile, has been mum.
Maybe she's holding out for Letterman.
Mike Argento, whose column appears
Mondays and Thursdays in Living and
Sundays in Viewpoints, can be reached at
771-2046 or at
mike@ydr.com.Read more Argento
columns at ydr.com/mike.